BUILDING OUR HOUSE
God said, a proper house can be built only on Foundation of Rock . The house on the sand fell down as the rains came and the storms blew. We know the songs we have sung during our Sunday school about the wise man who built his house upon the rock.
Isaiah 28:16 –
Therefore thus says the Lord GOD, "Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a tested stone, A costly cornerstone for the foundation, firmly placed. He who believes in it will not be disturbed.”
Before the snake came Adam was living a peaceful life with the animals and God. After Eve came all the bad things started happening .Why? Adam was trying to make a house with Eve. God made them to remain united , more strong & flourishing over the face of the earth. Gen 2:18-And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Satan was aware of that , he knew that if man & woman were united , it would be the end of him. So he tried his tricks on Eve. He knew,the reason for any nation to fail, is basically failure of its families. If our families are stable & united, there would not have been any issue within a nation. To bring down any nation, start disintegrating its families.
What are the features of a Good house?Rev 21:10- Rev 22
People with Lips of wisdom (Gods wisdom ) like o rare jewel.
We need to glitter & sparkle clear as a crystal.
It needs a great high wall for protection.(Surrounded by glory of God, not the glory oft the world)
Gates
The Foundation of the house needs to be strong- (jesus)
The length width ,height should be equal & have a proper ratio so that people inside can a healthy life. (faith, love,peace, inner man made strong)
Our house should be the Temple of God(holiness)
Our House should have proper Lighting( We need to Share wisdom & serve others)
Houses should have a proper name.( identity in Christ )
Prov20:15 There is gold, and a multitude of rubies: but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.
Zech2:5 For I,’ saith the Lord, ‘will be unto her a wall of fire round about, and will be the glory in the midst of her. Prov 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
1 Cor 3:11For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Eph 2: 20 And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone;(2tim2:19)
Ephesians 3:16-19, 16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
1Cor 3:16 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?
John 8:12 - Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. Matthew 5:14 - Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Light is Gods wisdom(Eph1:17-18).
Eph3:14,15 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
Wives role:
Perhaps more than at any other time in history, women today need a clear understanding of how they should relate to their husbands. They feel as if somehow they lose their identity and their freedom if they adhere to some type of "outdated standard."
It's important for us to look clearly at what the Bible says on this subject. And while the Bible doesn't apply our modern word "role" to marriage, the Scriptures are clear about the unique responsibilities God assigns to a wife.
A wife's responsibilities can be properly understood only in the context of loving, servant leadership by her husband like CHRIST.
#1: Be a helper to your husband. While all of us are called to be helpers to others, the Bible places a special emphasis on this responsibility for wives. Genesis tells us that God realized it wasn't good for man to be alone, and that He decided to make a "helper suitable for him" (Gen. 2:18). It is interesting to note that the Hebrew meaning of the word helper in this passage is found hereafter in the Bible to refer only to God as He helps us. The fact that this same word is applied to a wife signifies that women have been given tremendous power for good in our husbands' lives. God has designed wives to help their husbands become all that God intends for them to be.
#2: Respect your husband. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul says, " … the wife must respect her husband." When you respect your husband you reverence him, notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, and esteem him. It means valuing his opinion, admiring his wisdom and character, appreciating his commitment to you, and considering his needs and values. You need to treat him like how the Church treats CHRIST, like a high priest like a reverend.
Husbands have many needs. The macho man who is self-contained, independent, and invulnerable is a myth. A list of what a husband considers to be some of the primary needs most men have:
• Self-confidence in his personhood as a man.
• To be listened to
• Companionship
• To be needed
. To respect him by showing gentleness (1peter 3:3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.(D) 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self,(E) the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight)
To me, meeting these needs is what respecting your husband is all about. To bolster husband’s confidence, for example, encourage him by being his Number One fan. Every husband wants his wife to be on his team, to coach him when necessary, but most of all to be his cheerleader. A husband needs a wife who is behind him, believing in him, appreciating him, and cheering him on as he goes out into the world every day.
#3: Love your husband. Titus 2:4 calls for wives "to love their husbands." A good description of the kind of love your husband needs is "unconditional acceptance." In other words, accept your husband just as he is—an imperfect person.
Love also means being committed to a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship. I realize there is a whole lot more to love than sex, but we are looking at how to fulfill God's command to love our husbands. Therefore, we must look at love from their perspective, not just our own.
Surveys show that sex is one of a man's most important needs—if not the most important. When a wife resists intimacy, is uninterested, or is only passively interested, her husband may feel rejection. It will cut at his self-image, tear at him to the very center of his being, and create isolation.
My husband's sexual needs should be more important and higher on my priority list than menus, housework, projects, activities, and even the children. It does not mean that I should think about sex all day and every day, but it does mean that I find ways to remember my husband and his needs. It means I save some of my energy for him. It keeps me from being selfish and living only for my own needs and wants. Maintaining that focus helps me defeat isolation in our marriage.
1 Cor 7:5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
But above that -loving him eternally is by sharing a wisdom (Godly wisdom) which will take both of you to eternity. This is the true love which CHRIST shared with us. This is the only love which will last and the bonding created by this spiritual love is very strong & attractive. You will find your husband sitting in front of you to listen to it , like how a bird sits always hungry & wanting more and more.
In Ephesians 5:26 , it is mentioned as washing of water with the WORD - applicable to both Husband and wife.
If you practice it, a time will come, it will be difficult to keep you apart, people around will see you sticking together as a glue.. It is the most attractive love when the husband’s spirit is attracted to the wife’s spirit through Gods wisdom. Pls try it now onwards. You can not resist talking or seeing each other. You may see sometimes that your husband may sit at home or take a holiday to share the beauty of God’s wisdom. Because GOD’s wisdom has Eternity, is infinite & which is the only TRUTH.Rest of the things we discuss, ends up in decay & strife.
#4: "Submit" to the leadership of your husband. Just mention the word "submission," and many women immediately become angry and even hostile. This controversial concept has been highly debated and misunderstood.
Some husbands and wives actually believe submission indicates that women are inferior to men in some way. I have known women who think that if they submit they will lose their identity and become "non-persons." Others fear (some with good reason) that submission leads to being used or abused.
Another misconception is that submission means blind obedience on the part of the woman. She can give no input to her husband, question nothing, and only stay obediently in the kitchen.
What does God have in mind? Here are two passages from Scripture:
Colossians 3:18-19 – “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.”
Ephesians 5:22-30 – “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.”
These Scriptures make it clear that a wife should submit voluntarily to her husband's sensitive and loving leadership. Therefore, as I voluntarily submit to my husband, I am completing him. I am helping him fulfill his responsibilities, and I am helping him become the man, the husband, and the leader God intended him to be.
Building oneness in marriage works best when both partners choose to fulfill their responsibilities voluntarily, with no pressure or coercion. To become the servant-leader role God has commanded to a husband-- needs a wife’s gracious respect and submission. And when your Husband loves you the way he is commanded to, the wife can more easily submit herself to that leadership.
Wives should do this with an attitude of entrusting yourself to God. In one of his letters, Peter told us that even though Jesus suffered terrible pain and insults, He did not retaliate "but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously" (1 Peter 2:23). When you entrust your life to the Father, it's much easier to be the wife of an imperfect man, particularly when you may have disagreements.
A special note: Some of you may live with abuse or in excessively unhealthy and destructive conditions in your marriage. At times, it may be inappropriate or even life-threatening for you to apply unquestioningly the principles of submission. For example, if you are being abused, you may need to take steps to protect yourself and your children. If you are in that situation, pray to open his mind’s eye to receive the wisdom of GOD.
Loving, forgiving, and submitting do not mean that you become a doormat or indefinitely tolerate significantly destructive behavior.
How it all fits together
If you have ever sewn a dress, or attempted to sew one, you know how a pattern works. The pattern is made of many pieces, some large and some small, none of which accurately resembles the finished product.
When you lay out the pattern and cut the cloth, you do not have a garment but only some scraps of cloth. When it is properly assembled and made usable with buttons, a zipper, or snaps, these pieces make a complete dress.
Every pattern has pairs of parts: two sleeves, two bodice pieces, a front and back skirt, and even the collar and facing pieces are usually in twos. A marriage is very similar. God has designed a master pattern for husbands and wives that when followed will create a whole, usable, beautiful marriage.
In the same way a dress can be made in a variety of sizes and colors with numerous differences in detail from one pattern, so my marriage may look different from yours. As we acknowledge Christ as Lord of our lives, we must work out our marriages according to God's plan. The key is for each wife to follow God's plan, know her part, and work to fit in with her husband's responsibilities.
The biggest example of submission can be seen in the Trinity- Father, Son & Holy Spirit. There is a oneness in the Holy Trinity. In essence all are God, but the Son submits to the Father. ONLY the roles are different, yet equal. Similar should be relationship of Husband and wife. In our company our manager is superior to us, but in essence both of us Humans. My manager knows his role and I know my role.
Husbands role:
There is a story of a man who died and went to heaven to find two signs above two different lines. One sign said: "ALL THOSE MEN WHO HAVE BEEN DOMINATED BY THEIR WIVES, STAND HERE." That line of men seemed to stretch off through the clouds into infinity.
The second sign read: "ALL THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN DOMINATED BY THEIR WIVES, STAND HERE." Underneath the sign stood one man.
He went over to the man, grabbed his arm and said, "What's the secret, how did you do it? That other line has millions of men and you are the only one standing in this line."
The man looked around with a puzzled expression and said, "Why, I am not sure I know. My wife just told me to stand here."
We have all heard jokes about "who wears the pants in the family." Yet leadership in the home is no laughing matter. During the last few decades our culture has redefined the meaning and responsibilities of man and woman in society and in the home. Many men are confused and insecure. Many do not know how to act in the home. Growing up, they lacked a good model for leadership at home and have no mental picture of what it means to lead a family. Consequently, they do not lead effectively, or they do not even try.
Increasingly, many men are becoming passive in the home. They've decided that the easiest thing to do is nothing. The simplest thing—with the smallest risk—is to stay on the fence with both feet firmly planted in mid-air and let the wife do it. When a man is married to a strong wife who will take over, he often lets her do just that.
Fortunately, there is an answer. The Scriptures clearly give us the model for being a man, a husband and father. I call that model the "servant leader."
I hope that the concepts I share will help you understand the biblical role of a husband more clearly than ever before. When correctly interpreted and applied, these concepts not only result in freedom for the husband and wife, but also help you work better as a team to combat isolation and conflict in your marriage.
#1: Be a leader. The Scriptures provide a clear organizational structure for a marriage. Following are a couple of typical Scriptures:
But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ (1 Corinthians 11:3).
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body (Ephesians 5:22-30).
In the above portion in Ephesians, God "... placed ultimate responsibility with respect to the household on the shoulders of the husband . . . The Lord has assigned the wife the duty of obeying her husband yet ... this obedience must be a voluntary submission on her part, and that only to her own husband, not to every man."
"Head" does not mean male dominance, where a man lords it over a woman and demands her total obedience to his every wish and command. God never viewed women as second-class citizens. His Word clearly states that we are all equally His children and are of equal value and worth before Him. As Galatians 3:28 tells us, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).
The teaching of the New Testament clearly shows that women are to be respected, revered, and treated as equals with men. Unfortunately, many husbands have not gotten the message. They degrade their wives by neglect or with insensitive and abusive treatment. One cause of the feminist movement may have been that men abandoned God's design. When God presented Eve to Adam in the Garden, Adam received her as a gift of great value to God and him. When husbands, particularly Christian husbands, do not treat their wives as a precious gift from God and helpmate, they can cause those wives to search for a way to find significance and value as persons, often outside God's will.
Are you a leader? Men who are "natural" leaders have no trouble answering the question, yes. They know how to take over, control, guide, and get things done. Some men are not strong or natural leaders. How can they lead in the home?
Paul says the same to everyone. God has placed the husband in the position of responsibility. It does not matter what kind of personality a man may have. Your wife may be resisting you, fighting you, and spurning your attempts to lead, but it makes no difference. I believe our wives want us and need us to lead. You are not demanding this position; on the contrary, God placed you there. You will not lead her perfectly, but you must care for you wife and family by serving them with perseverance.
Scripture does more than assign leadership in a marriage to the husband, however. Those same passages you just read also provide a model for that leadership. The Apostle Paul says that the husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the church. "This comparison of the husband with Christ reveals the sense in which a man should be his wife's "head." "He is her head as being vitally interested in her welfare. He is her protector. His pattern is Christ Who, as head of the Church, is its Savior!"
Let's look more closely at two responsibilities that flow out of proper leadership.
#2: Love your wife unconditionally. Ephesians 5:25 reads, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her." Your unconditional acceptance of your wife is not based upon her performance, but on her worth as God's gift to you. If you want to love your wife unconditionally, always be sure her emotional tank is full. One of the best ways to do that is to affirm her constantly. Let her know verbally that you value her, respect her, and love her. I have discovered that I simply cannot do that enough.
There is no question that words communicate love, but so do actions. You need to do both. As the Apostle John wrote in one of his letters: "let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth" (1 John 3:18). One of the missing ingredients in male leadership in homes is sacrificial action. When was the last time you gave up something for your wife—something you genuinely valued ? Sometimes you need to give up something you enjoy so your wife can have a break and see your love for her.
The wife gets attracted to Physical love , when the Husband shows a love and concern to her.
#3: Serve your wife. According to the New Testament, being head of your wife does not mean being her master, but her servant. Again, Christ is our model for this type of leadership. Jesus did not just talk about serving; He demonstrated it when he washed His disciples' feet (John 13:1-17). Christ, the Head of the Church, took on the very nature of a servant when He was made in human likeness (Philippians 2:7).
One of the best ways to serve your wife is to understand her needs and try to meet them. Do you know what your wife's top three needs are right now? If she is a young mother, she has a certain set of basic needs. If your children are grown and gone and you are in the empty nest, your wife has a different set of needs that you should try to meet. What is she worried about? What troubles her? What type of pressure does she feel? Learn the answers to questions like that, and then do what you can to reduce her worries, her troubles, her pressures.
What do you know about your wife's hopes and dreams? I bet she has plenty—do you know what they are? Are you cultivating her gifts? If she has a knack for decorating, do you help her develop that?
Another way to serve your wife is to provide for her. This provision first involves assuming responsibility for meeting the material needs of the family. 1 Timothy 5:8 tells us, "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever."
Providing for your wife also means taking the initiative in helping meet her spiritual needs which is more important. You do this by modeling godly character, by praying with her, by spending time together in God's Word, and by looking for ways to encourage her spiritually. Sharing the word everyday as I mentioned before, keeps you attracted to each other. We need to explore the infinite wisdom God has hidden in each person . This happens as we explore the spiritual truths during the Family prayers everyday.
To be a leader, a lover, and a servant is to accommodate your life to the life of the gift God has given you—your wife. Give up your life for hers and, at the judgment seat of Christ, He will say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."
THE REASON TO REMAIN IN MARRIAGE SHOULD ALWAYS BE GREATER THAN THE STRESS YOU UNDERGO.THE REASON IS GOD.
Christ represents the Husband. Church represents the Wife
Christ represents head. Church represents the body.
Head and body has to exist together in Love and complementing, not competing.
These cannot exist separately.
We pray for both of you. When God becomes the head of the Family, there will be feeling of wantedness for each other. Explore the infinite wisdom God has given both of you by sharing God’s Word.
God Bless.